


The Batman: Creeper minisode - wild ride

by ArcannaRyu



Series: My The Batman Creeper fanfics [5]
Category: The Batman (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 15:49:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18626350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcannaRyu/pseuds/ArcannaRyu
Summary: Why The Creeper was taught how to drive a car as a pre-teen





	The Batman: Creeper minisode - wild ride

Joker is forcefully shoved through the door of a police car, the straitjacket he's wearing making it difficult to wiggle his way into a sitting position in the back seat as the door is slammed shut. He gives off a mocking shout of,

"Alright boys! Homeward bound. And let's take the scenic route. I need some time to cook up a plan to escape once we get back to Arkham, and nothing clears the old brainpan quite like a nice drive through the city." 

As the two cops get in the front of the car. The one behind the wheel responds.

"Shut up clown. We get any funny business out of you, and you'll serve the rest of your time in Arkham in a full body cast."

 

"But my dear dense deputy, funny is my business."

 

Which pisses off the cop, but one riding shotgun interjects.

 

"Just ignore him. Joker always tries to mess with your head, and it's our job to not fall for his tricks. Now let's just drop him off and be done with it."

 

They radio in to base and set off for Arkham, with a few extra cop cars tagging along for added protection.  
After a while, the car slows to a stop at a busy intersection, and the cops wait for the lights to change, when they hear a sudden thump on the roof of the car.  
The cops are startled, but they're not the only ones. In all the cars around them, people scream or point at the roof of their car.   
The cop in the driver's seat takes out his gun and turns to his window to find out what hit them, when the upside-down face of Creeper suddenly appears in front of him, leaning over from the roof of the car and a broad cheeky smile on her face.   
She punches through the window and grabs him by the collar, slamming his head on the car door and leaving him too dazed to react as creeper quickly leaps off the roof, opens the door and tackles his limp body.   
Slamming him against his partner just in time to throw off the partners aim, sending the stray electrified non-leathal bullet through the windshield, while the two cops are knocked through the opposite door and fall in a heap on the road.

 

"Creeper! Your breaking me out? And here I was thinking you didn't like me." 

Joker says through the wire mesh separating him from the front seats and Creeper.

 

"Do I get a bigger allowance for this?"

 

"Since when did you have an allowance?"

But she has no time to try and weasel more spending money out of the Joker as a series of bullets embed themselves in the side of the car, fired by the extra cops who currently weave between the stopped cars to reach creeper and Joker.   
The police radio in the car is giving off an alert, demanding Creeper stand down immediately. Annoyed by it she rips the police radio out of the dashboard. More bullets hit the car, and Creeper starts losing her cool.

"Whado I do! Whado I do!!!" She yells at the Joker.

"What! You mean you didn't plan anything out!!!!!"

"I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE A PLAN!!"

"Up until now all you've tried to do is kill me, SO HOW THE HECK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU WOULD TRY AND RESCUE ME!!!!!!"

"I'M PRETTY SURE WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT I DIDN'T PLAN FOR YOU NOT HAVING A PLAN!!!!!!"

Panicking and unsure of what to do next Creeper grabs the steering wheel, but her feet can't reach the pedals, so she puts on her seat belt, which tells Joker can tell what she's planning to do. 

"Wait, what are you doing? No! That's a terrible idea! You don't know how to!" 

and she tosses the police radio onto the gas pedal, lurching the car forward.

 

"Driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!!!!"

 

She frantically grabs the steering wheel as the hijacked police car rockets forward into traffic, cars braking and swerving into each other across the intersection.   
Thankfully they make it through, but they're still hurtling forward at a ludicrous speed. She swerves to avoid a slower moving car and bounces onto the sidewalk, grazing a fire hydrant, while poor Joker in his strait jacket and without a seat belt slams onto the roof of the car when the car hits the sidewalk and then the door when it hits the hydrant.  
Glued to his seat by the g-force Joker furiously works his way out of the straitjacket, and grabs the wire mesh separating him from the terrified Creeper,

 

"Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes!!!"

 

"Which button is the brakes!"

 

As they rocket down the street a bunch of police cars form a blockade in front of them, guns trained on their out of control car, causing Joker to yell

 

"Keep going! Keep going!"

Instead.

 

Creeper cranks the wheel and the car swerves sharply to the right inches before they hit the blockade, creating dark skid marks in their path, and up onto a large stairway, car vibrating wildly as it climbs, and ramping (with a loud yee-haw from Creeper) back onto level ground once it reaches the entrance to the Gotham museum of modern art.  
The hijacked car smashes through the glass doors into the main building, terrifying the guys in the ticket booth as the car roars through.   
Smashing through smaller displays, with an abstract stone sculpture going right through the windshield and into the passenger seat, but that's the least of their worries, because up ahead is a rather ironic piece of artwork in this situation. You know how that guy who just took a urinal and called it art, well some other artist has a similar idea with a brick wall. Yep, just a brick wall standing alone in the middle of the room, with velvet line dividers around it and everything.

 

They scream in terror and she swerves to miss it, slam's into the wall and skids along a narrow corridor. Scraping both sides of the already beat up cop car like coarse sandpaper and sending out sparks, while at the same time forcing the car to slow down a bit.

"CREEPER! TAKE THE RADIO OFF OF THE GAS PEDAL BEFORE YOU GET US BOTH KILLED!" 

Joker yells.  
But they reach the end of the corridor, and the car rockets off again, this time through the glass doors at the back of the building, leading to the outdoor exhibit/gardens. Finally she yanks the radio off the pedal and the car begins to slow.

 

Although it's still going pretty fast when it hits the antique stone fountain in the courtyard.

 

The airbags go off and smoke billows from the crushed front end of the car.   
Joker, with a powerful kick, knocks the mangled passengers side door off its hinges and stagers out of the car, looking dizzy and clutching his forehead.

 

"Well that was some rescue. But for future reference how about you just let me go to Arkham next time. I'm serious, don't even consider trying to rescue me…. Creeper?"

 

He looks at the totaled front of the car and inflated airbags. His expression turns to one of worry as he runs over to the driver's side and wrenches the door open, to see Creeper caught behind the airbag. He pulls her out of the car and stands her up. She looks kinda woozy, but otherwise unharmed

 

"You ok?"

 

"I don't know. I can't feel anything broken sooooo, probably?" 

she says with a shrug

 

"Well one thing's for sure," 

Joker responds 

"I'm gonna make sure that never--happens--again."

 

A man of about 50 sits in an easy chair reading a newspaper, when a knock comes at his door. Curious, he sets down the paper, walks over, and opens the door. There stands the Joker, holding a slip of paper cut out from a newspaper.

"You wouldn't happen to be Michal Allen, distinguished drivers ed teacher would you?"

He instinctively backs away

"Wha? You're that Joker guy aren't you? What are you doing here! What do you want with me!!!" 

he says in terror.

"Well let's just say that someone needs to be taught a lesson, and your just the person to do it." 

and Joker lunges at the man, laughing maniacally.  
A bag gets torn off Mr. Allen's face as he is unceremoniously thrown into the passenger seat of a car, his mouth gagged and hands and legs still tied together. He looks to his left, and there sits Creeper, nestled in her big red fur boa and hands on the wheel. He screams into his gag, which Joker pulls off.

"Now you two play nice!"

And he shuts the door.  
And that is how Creeper learned to drive.


End file.
